Realising that I am wholly inadequate in obeying God is a very important step to being reconciled to him. I think it is wonderful grace that his arms are open for those who would seek him, however incompetent we may prove ourselves to be. The fact that I find it terribly difficult to love others, and so fulfil the law of God, is no barrier between him and me, between him and us.
In fact, on this particular exploration of discipleship I have noticed that failure serves to drive me further toward's God. In failing, I recognise that I am not all powerful and in my mind, at least, Christ is magnified since he was able to do what I cannot do when he lived here in flesh. Perhaps this is evidence that God, by his Spirit, has my conscience captivated to regard him above everything else.
Here I like to write things that are real for me. Things which hurt and heal, things of joy and sorrow and heaven and hell.
Here I write the stuff of faith which is painful and hard. I write about the nagging doubt in my heart and the glimmer of hope in the corner of my mind.