Anniversary, or ‘Love song for a Saviour’
One year ago two of the best people I know got married. It was their anniversary recently, and as I saw the status update on Facebook, my memory was filled with images of a flowing white dress, a church packed with loved ones, tears rolling down the strong cheeks of the groom.
I remember the song to which the bride walked down the aisle.
Jars of Clay - Love song for a Saviour
He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close a heartbeat or a song on our lips
Someday we'll trust Him and learn how to see Him
Someday He'll call us and we will come running
and fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and we'll pray,"I want to fall in love with You"
Now, to my mind that's the most incredible start to a marriage. Marriage where the pursuit of the love of God is the centre. Marriage which rejoices in being so close to the Lord. Marriage which finds it's security and peace in the arms of the Almighty.
I am very glad that I got to know these two people, since I was not raised in a Christian home. My parents do not pursue the love of God. I don't particularly want my potential future marriage to echo theirs, since I don't perceive it to be the best way to 'do' marriage.
Yet after one year, I think my two friends are onto something. The pursuit of God, knowing him and his grace, falling more in love with him. Yes, a marriage which understands God and the most supreme love, which has it's foundation in that love, is a marriage which I want.
When the time is right.
I just love what God is doing in and through his people.
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What do you mean, ‘saved by grace’?
If you've been around church at all, you might have begun to pick up the language we use there. I like to call it 'Christianese', a strange tongue made of strange words and phrases no one else understands.
"Cleansed by the Blood of the Lamb"
"Washed by the Living Water"
etc
Preachers are the worst for it. Sometimes I think they just make things up. Even things which ought to be the simple, basic truths of our faith can sometimes become completely indecipherable.
Basic truths like 'God loves you', 'Jesus died for you', 'Nothing can make God love you any more, or any less'. These are some of the most basic parts of the faith. Yet these are the hardest truths to grasp.
These simple statements have become irritating clichés, the worst sort of Christianese.
It rings, loudly and unavoidably, like a fire alarm in my ears. The words of the the Apostle Paul:
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9)
I don't know if you're anything like me. I mean, yes you have skin, a pulse and two eyes but I can't be sure if you're like me. When you read those words, you probably understand them. I, however, don't.
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A field of TULIPs
T for 'Total Depravity'
U for 'Unconditional Election'
L for 'Limited Atonement'
I for 'Irresistible Grace'
P for 'Perseverance of the Saints'
This week has been a challenge, somewhat. It has featured what, for me, have been deeply personal, theological struggles. Struggles over how the Church should relate to other religious faiths and I got the opportunity to observe 'interfaith dialogue' which was a less than fun experience.
Also, within the Christian camp I was on the receiving end of what was for me, destructive, heretical theology.
And on a personal level, I know this week I have really hurt people. Perhaps unintentionally, yet for that person the pain is still real.
In the midst of this confusion I have had the privilege of being in the company of two saints who are in a similar place. They have arrived at the point of beginning to explore 'Reformed' theology, otherwise caricatured as 'Calvinism', hence the reference to 'tulip', the five main points of Reformed doctrine.
Being in their company has been a great blessing. These are people who stand upon great conviction, far greater than mine, practicing what they believe and honestly seeking the Scriptures to hear the voice of the God they love, the God who has saved them.
Conviction which isn't very popular in the Christian world I live in today. It's trendy to be ambiguous, fashionable to doubt. It's very tempting to become caught up in that world. Yet I believe the Lord is not a God of confusion but of order. Reflecting on my reading of the Pentateuch, the first five books of the Old Testament, I have come to understand God has displayed this through the way he carefully arranged creation, and beauty of his ordinances, the detail over the life of his people.
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Born again, again
It happened again. You know, that thing.
I don't know what it is for you, but for me it's always that one thing which seems to be the measure of my faith. If I do this thing, or don't do that thing, then I know I'm a Christian. I know I'm saved.
But I failed again. I did that act or thought that thought or didn't do that thing I was supposed to do.
And so, I know I must again pray:
Dear God, forgive me.
I'm sorry for failing you.
Help me not do do it again, please be near me now
Amen
I've memorised several of these prayers and I cycle them round each time I fail God. I pray them fairly often. I come to Christ to be forgiven and receive new birth, again.
What about you? I spend vast amounts of my time feeling like a failure, failing God, failing the expectations of others and failing my expectations of myself.
I just don't want to do that one thing anymore!
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On the third day (Remembering God’s Grace)
Sunday has been a very significant day for Christians. The reason we have traditionally held church worship on this day is because it is the day of Jesus’ resurrection.
New life and new hope came on Sunday.
This week, I'm thankful for the way in which God has inspired me. I wrote a sermon for my church, and a drama and some prayers. I completely did not deserve to have God do that, but for the building up of his church, God did it for me.
And more than that, I actually quite enjoyed it. Engaging with and struggling through the text brought be a great sense of joy, peace. That satisfied feeling you get from doing what you love. God gave me that gift, through preaching and leading worship.
He also provided me with enough money to fill my petrol tank, and also kept me safe when driving on the ice.
Fond friends encouraged me this week, also, and helped me when I was worried about my sermon.
I am thankful for many things this week
God is good.
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