This Same Jesus

I found this poem in an old book, The kind that feel good to touch, and smell of old.

Today on the road I met Him:
The very same Jesus who trod
The old, old lanes and highways
On His beautiful errands for God

I was troubled and heart-sick and weary
With a load too heavy to bear;
I cried aloud in my weakness
And suddenly He was there,

His gentle hand on my shoulder
Was lifting the burden from me,
And He dried mt tears, and I knew Him,
It was Jesus of Galilee:

No different at all from the Master
On the Jericho road that day;
No different at all from the Saviour
Along the Samaria way,

And I am so glad that I met Him!
I knelt and called out his name,
And I am so grateful I found Him
Unchanged and forever the same

G.N. Crowell, Songs of Hope, 1938

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Pick me, miss

I’m a drain on the taxpayer. And by that I mean I am a full time student. I study at Cliff College and enjoy my time doing so. Much of my week is taken up with lectures, and the nature of being in a small institution means there is a great deal of interactive learning. We tend to discuss things in our classes, exchanging ideas and experiences as we all seek to make sense of the God we worship.

In the classroom I am often vocal. Those who know me may find this a humorous understatement and it probably is. I feel no shame in suggesting alternative readings of texts which I have observed people use and enjoy bringing different theological traditions to a discussion. Yes, this makes me a bit of a swot but I kind of enjoy it. I like to challenge and to be challenged.

In the classroom, I will often answer direct questions and even interject where there is something I have in my mind which has not been addressed. I find the only way to reconcile the many competing ideas I have read is to discuss them.

People are impressed with me in the classroom. I even have awards to prove it. On the downside I have the envy of some of my friends…

This classroom persona I assume is confident, charismatic and cool-headed (I included the last one because I wanted to have three ‘c’s – truth be told I’m not very cool-headed whatsoever). This persona is also intimidating and threatening, never letting things lie, always having to strive for more. This persona has an insatiable appetite for success.

Outside of the classroom this person quickly evaporates. I lack confidence. I lack charisma. I am hot-headed. So that combination mean I get agitated at things and then d not ever say anything about them. I don’t challenge people and run a mile when someone tries to challenge me.

Outside the classroom I become a different person. I know how to function in the classroom. I know the rules, have the confidence to express ideas which I haven’t fully stretched out, relish in the experience.

A steady prayer of mine is that God would give me the strength and confidence to step into what he is calling me to do more often. Maybe that might mean showing grace and kindness to someone who may or may not be going through a hard time or calling to account someone who is clearly violating God’s standards. Usually, though, I walk away from opportunities to be myself.

I am confident to be an academic. I am ashamed to be myself. What’s up with that?

O LORD, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways. (Psalm 139:1-3)

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Couch Mouse House – Responding to Jon Acuff

I read this provoking article by Jon Acuff, a frankly brilliant writer whom you should all make certain to connect with.

In it, he discusses how those with attachment disorders hoard rubbish.

‘Often, the people lose their kids in order to maintain their hoarding lifestyle. The trash is more important. The numbness that hoarding offers is too enticing and you watch in shock as everything in life is given up so that a homeowner can crawl back inside a warm rubbish cocoon.’

Sin is often costly and like the hoarding disorder, often irrational. Hoarding pain, guilt, anxiety for many is a dangerous obsession. It packs the heart full of bitterness. As cliché as it sounds, ‘hurt people, hurt people’. To hoard guilt is to inflict that pain on others.

I am challenged by Jon’s prophetic words which indeed speak into my heart. Perhaps I should stop denying that I do it. That is, hoarding self-hate as if I’m making an investment into the ‘piety’ account. All I am really doing is dishing out pain to those who are close and warning off those who might want to come near.

Perhaps Jon’s words challenge what I believe about repentance and forgiveness. I totally believe the Lord transforms one’s social experience when one repents. Perhaps I have forgotten that the Lord also gave us things like thoughts, feelings, emotions which are also redeemed when he forgives us. Read the rest of this entry »

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Near Death – a train-wreck

Saturday I didn’t die. Granted, this is an assertion I can make about any day of the week, however this Saturday I can be more specific. I didn’t die in a train crash. Well, anyone who rides in a train and lives can make that claim. To clarify: I didn’t die when the train I was in derailed.

Travelling between London and Sheffield on a fast, modern, comfortable and convenient example of the latest railway technology, the Eternal seemed terrifyingly close to the Earthly. The journey was easy, everyone made it onto the train on time. No baggage was forgotten and we quickly found our seats. Settling down for a two hour journey after a tiresome few days, I certainly expected to be sleeping most of the way.

Muse lulled me to sleep for half an hour. Upon awakening I was struck by the snow that towered above us on the banks, either side of the track. Most frustrating, that now I lacked any mobile phone signal.

After making a comment as to how similar the scene was to Narnia – via a quip about wardrobes – I settled down again with Muse and the white view out the window.

A jolt. A shuddering. A bag falls from the rack above. Read the rest of this entry »

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Urban Evangelism

This week, as you may have noticed, lacked any new writing from myself. This is not due to laziness. No, that’s a lie. It is partly due to laziness. Mostly it is due to the fact that I spent a few days in London.

As a part of my course I had the challenging privilege of spending time in the big city to see how Christians in that place had begun to live out their faith. What I saw was astonishing.

Astonishing to see the lives of young, black lads standing witness against the statistics of failure and crime which mark them. Astonishing to hear the drunks and users share stories of God over a greasy burger in a church hall. Astonishing to be in the presence of a man who would have such love as to start a church in the middle of this great urban collision of people.

Indeed this week has shaped me in many ways.

Of course I cannot make assumptions about the organisations I spent time with beyond what I saw, but for the sake of objective reflection I have to assume the projects I saw run in roughly the same way most of the time.

Yet I write this feeling somewhat… unfulfilled. Now I know the purpose of the course is not for me to feel fulfilled, but to my mind there was something lacking. Something important. Read the rest of this entry »

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Valentines Blessing

It hurts me to write this. Really, I’d rather dip my face in burning acid than admit it, but one of the clearest and most blessed ways by which God reveals himself is by the union of man and woman.

Marriage shows the perfect representation of the invisible God, as together man and woman are in his likeness. Similarly, those who are married can testify to the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the mystery of his love for the Church.

So these words I want to bless those who are married and those who are on the way towards it.

May the Spirit of the Divine
Bind you to one another
With the ties of love and service
Obedience and honour
Which are good and right in the sight of God

May you learn together what it means to be human
Formed in the image of the Most Holy

May you bring honour to Jesus through your conduct and conscience
Glorifying our Risen Saviour
And baring witness to the great Lover
The Bridegroom who loves his people

May God be pleased to manifest his presence with you
And may he rejoice over you
His dear children

Amen

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A field of TULIPs

T for ‘Total Depravity’

U for ‘Unconditional Election’

L for ‘Limited Atonement’

I for ‘Irresistible Grace’

P for ‘Perseverance of the Saints’

This week has been a challenge, somewhat. It has featured what, for me, have been deeply personal, theological struggles. Struggles over how the Church should relate to other religious faiths and I got the opportunity to observe ‘interfaith dialogue’ which was a less than fun experience.

Also, within the Christian camp I was on the receiving end of what was for me, destructive, heretical theology.

And on a personal level, I know this week I have really hurt people. Perhaps unintentionally, yet for that person the pain is still real.

In the midst of this confusion I have had the privilege of being in the company of two saints who are in a similar place. They have arrived at the point of beginning to explore ‘Reformed’ theology, otherwise caricatured as ‘Calvinism’, hence the reference to ‘tulip’, the five main points of Reformed doctrine.

Being in their company has been a great blessing. These are people who stand upon great conviction, far greater than mine, practicing what they believe and honestly seeking the Scriptures to hear the voice of the God they love, the God who has saved them.

Conviction which isn’t very popular in the Christian world I live in today. It’s trendy to be ambiguous, fashionable to doubt. It’s very tempting to become caught up in that world. Yet I believe the Lord is not a God of confusion but of order. Reflecting on my reading of the Pentateuch, the first five books of the Old Testament, I have come to understand God has displayed this through the way he carefully arranged creation, and beauty of his ordinances, the detail over the life of his people. Read the rest of this entry »

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What if Starbucks was like your average Church?

I came across this blog, which has an entertaining skit which raises the issue of how we ‘do church’ and what church looks like to those who aren’t really churchgoers. What do you think?

‘Coffee is good all the time/all the time Coffee is good’

Thoughts?

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Her Name was Veronica

Today I met an elderly lady at a church I was preaching at.

This is her story.

As a younger woman, she was in hospital, ill, near death. Her husband was in the process of leaving her with three children to take care of. Her illness led to her becoming isolated, alone. After years of poor living, bad choices and hurting this woman, a struggling mother, she was left scared and desperate in the house.

Her husband threatened to take her children from her, as she was emotionally and mentally ruined. Veronica was a wreck of a person, and this is the wreck Jesus met.

One day when out of the house, accompanied by a nurse, a kind lady spoke to her. She asked, would you like for the minister to visit you?

“I’d like that” she replied
“Where is it that you live”
“I… I don’t know where I live”

The nurse confirmed this, and proceeded to give this kind lady Veronica’s address.

This brief… almost insignificant exchange was revolutionary.

The pastoral visit was straightforward. They came and shared the message of Jesus, that all our sins could be forgiven through him.

‘What, even me?”
“Most certainly, you can be accepted by God too, through Jesus”
“Well, it can’t mess my life up any more than it is already”

And with that, the Lord took Veronica by the hand, loving, guiding, comforting. She was baptised at a local church, and the Lord worked through her to see 37 more people baptised in the next 2 years.

A little old lady named Veronica spoke to me, a month after her husband had departed this world. Jesus Christ had become her treasure and her great reward. This woman, closer than I to the veil of eternity, knew what it meant to be captivated by Jesus in all things.

She blessed me in more ways than I could ever put into words here.

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The God who redeems sin

Today, I sinned.

I sin every day, but today I was especially aware that I had committed sin, since it was a sin I know to be wrong. I was aware of the wrongness and evil of my actions throughout. Yet the action seemed so natural, so hard to not do. Everyone else does it, so why can’t I?

I wonder if this was the sentiment of the people of God at Mount Sinai.

God saved the people from slavery in Egypt. He brought them out with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm. Then he defeats the Egyptian army and leads them to Mount Sinai. God gave his people the law so they could live for him.

God comes and meets them at the mountain and delivers the 10 commandments (Previous reflections on). All the people hear God deliver these, and then Moses goes to receive the rest of the law.

But 40 days later. 6 weeks after agreeing to the Commandments, the people have already broken them:

When the people saw that Moses delayed to come down from the mountain, the people gathered themselves together to Aaron and said to him, ”Up, make us gods who shall go before us. As for this Moses, the man who brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we do not know what has become of him.” So Aaron said to them, “Take off the rings of gold that are in the ears of your wives, your sons, and your daughters, and bring them to me.” So all the people took off the rings of gold that were in their ears and brought them to Aaron. And he received the gold from their hand and fashioned it with a graving tool and made a golden calf. And they said, ”These are your gods, O Israel, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt!” When Aaron saw this, he built an altar before it. And Aaron made proclamation and said, “Tomorrow shall be a feast to the LORD.” And they rose up early the next day and offered burnt offerings and brought peace offerings. And the people sat down to eat and drink and rose up to play. (Exodus 32:1-6)

Commandment number 2, specifically. The one which says ‘no’ to worshipping statues and ‘no’ to calling them God. Read the rest of this entry »

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